Would you say that investing in your dream life comes easily to you? Today you’ll hear from Emily King, a wealth and abundance coach who teaches women (including me!) how to have the right money mindsets. Something I’ve noticed about the mindset work I’ve done with Emily is that it really applies across a wide spectrum. Replace “money” with food, overeating, or any other struggle and you can really do the same sort of work.
Listen in for tangible tips on how to get rid of limiting beliefs and chase your dreams. We’ll also talk about finally going after the feeling that you want, rather than a number on the scale or in the bank.
Quick note: I have a few 1-1 on intuitive eating coaching spots open right now! If you don’t think a group program is ideal for you, or you’re really craving that personalized attention, this might be the perfect fit! If food freedom and body confidence is what you’re working towards, you can find out more about investing in your dream life at: www.caitlinball.com/apply.
Emily’s Money & Manifestation Journey
Emily shares that her passion for her work seems to come from a lifelong love of entrepreneurship. When she was a kid, she remembers being at a family gathering where a family member mentioned loving her hair. She was about 6 years old, and immediately offered to SELL him a piece for $1. (She then went around to everyone else, offering them the same deal.) From day one she’s been an entrepreneur! Even then money fascinated her, and as she grew up she found she valued its ability to give you experiences that weren’t available to everyone.
After completing the traditional college path that she though would lead into a career, she graduated with tens of thousands of dollars in debt and no job. At a complete low point, she moved home and found herself struggling. Around this time she also happened to come across a low-cost coaching program, where she enrolled and learned about the law of attraction, vision boards, and manifestation. (It was a early first step towards investing in her dream life!) In short order she paid off her debt and manifested her dream home, which started her down the path to her current career.
Interestingly, when she later asked her mom and sister what they thought she would grow up to be, they both shared they didn’t know. However, they expected she would make a lot of money! As she moved into the coaching space, realizing that we can identify HOW we feel about money, and then actually take action to shift that feeling and create a new one, was intriguing to Emily. This process also began to open her eyes to the blocks we all encounter along the way.
Money Blocks & Limiting Beliefs
Just like food blocks, we can have money blocks!
Emily shares that beliefs start as decisions we made at some point in our lives. Whether we make these decisions as toddlers, teens, or some other point, decisions are being made all the time! Often, this is something we do unconsciously, which means it can be hard to even know that we’ve done it. Once we’ve made a decision, however, it becomes a filter that we are constantly looking through.
Are you thinking that your beliefs are real and true because you have evidence to back them up? Well, the “evidence” for our beliefs comes from the filters that we are looking through. We can create a self-fulfilling cycle in which we are constantly affirming our own beliefs. The good news is, we can CHANGE our filters and get new beliefs that will better serve us. The key? Awareness!
(Listen to the full episode for a great mini-exercise on filters!)
Start playing with your limiting beliefs, and try asking yourself: Is this 100% true and factual? Most of the time, it’s not! This means you can try some “imagine if” scenarios and start to break free!
…carbs aren’t evil.
…your weight doesn’t define you.
…you can have a lot of money and not be evil.
…you don’t have to just “get by” your whole life.
The imagination space is a great starting point for examining your beliefs in a non-threatening way. In no time, you’ll start to more easily recognize old beliefs and ideas that might not actually be true. (Side note: sometimes we do amazing work…and then the old issues come back around! That’s okay, it’s normal. Don’t give up!)
Keep Doing the Work
It’s okay to start small! You may be completely broke, or have a lot of body image issues, or some other struggle that plagues you. What is one SMALL way you can make a bit of progress towards breaking free from your old ideas around this problem?
Does it feel like a big stretch to say:
I feel beautiful?
Start with something small. Maybe, “I feel beautiful in this dress.” or “I really love my eyelashes today.”
Leave judgement out of this process, and be okay with taking two steps forward and one step back! Another great tip from Emily is to honor your feelings.
Whether they seem bad, good, or neutral, try honoring them. What if you allow yourself just to feel what you feel and not get sucked into a downward spiral? You don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed about anything you feel. In fact, truly feeling your feelings sets you up to able to actually release them and move forward.
Finding What You Truly Want
Sometimes we think we want one thing (like losing 20 pounds), when in reality what we want is something different (like feeling confident in our bodies). It’s important to tap into your actual desire, and to think about what you want to FEEL. Often, the tangible thing we are focusing on isn’t going to create the feeling we’re actually chasing.
For example, if you don’t love and respect yourself enough to feel confident in your body today, waking up 20 pounds smaller isn’t going to change that.
So what happens if you name how you want to FEEL, rather than what you think you want?
For example, wanting money might be about feeling free, having choices, being generous, or something else. Those feelings that you want to feel “there” (free, generous, etc) need to be something you’re working on feeling “here”.
Emily remembers sitting in her living room and looking at $100,000 in her bank account (what she thought she wanted), and feeling intense stress and fear. In that moment, she recognized that having what she wanted hadn’t created what she had expected to feel. Now, she works with clients on actually creating their desired feelings as they work towards their larger goals.
Pick something you want to feel, and work on feeling it today.
Want more freedom? How can you create a sense of freedom in your life today? It might feel awkward in the beginning, but don’t worry about it! Feel awkward if you need to, but understand that you are literally breaking a pattern that’s been in your life a long time. Shifting into something new is big work! You’re doing a great job; just keep on showing up.
Follow the Joy
Do things that you love to get into the energy you want to be in. The goal here is to move towards a desired feeling, rather than just the “thing” itself (like weight loss, money, etc). After all, the thing you think you need or want may not even be the best thing for you.
One way to approach this is to use the “thing” as a symbol for the energy and feeling you’re moving towards. That way, you have a specific goal, but you’re also remaining open to receiving something even better than the original thing you thought you wanted.
You know when you look back on your life and recognize that you are WAY better off where you are now….even if it isn’t something you would have never imagined or expected?
Same principal here! Be willing to attach to the feeling you most desire, but also be wiling to detach from a highly specific outcome.
Investing in Your Dream Life
Sometimes we think that if we think about or desire something long enough, that it’s going to happen. It does NOT work that way!
“Mindset without action is bullsh*t.” If you’re talking the talk but not walking the walk, then sit down. You are not “manifesting”, and no amount of vision board making or journaling is going to make up for your lack of action!
Emily shares that her coaching business had a really slow take off. In 6 months she had sold approximately ONE coaching session (for $97). Even going to Tony Robbin’s seminar and coming home completely fired up didn’t change anything. Nothing was happening.
So she sat down with herself and created an ultimatum. If she did not sign a new client by the end of the month, she would close her business. Her heart desperately did NOT want to shut down, but she knew that something had to change if she was going to ever achieve success.
Shortly after this meeting with herself, she hired a coach and SHOWED UP. In each consequent month for the following three months, she made $5,000. At the end of that? She did her first launch for over $20,000. What she boils her success down to? Showing up.
She advises others to make the decisions that needs to be made, and to trust that the rest will come together. Take the leap, stretch yourself, and get uncomfortable. That is what you need to do if you want to create lasting change! Don’t be afraid of investing in your dream life.
What Bad Could Come From Doing This?
Exploring that question can help you get to the root of why you may not be succeeding. Emily’s answers to that question showed her that she was afraid of what success might mean. Her responses included things like:
…signing on a bunch of clients is really stressful?
…I mess up my taxes?
…there is no longer time for my friends and family?
…someone sues me?
By answering those questions, she was able to recognize that she was truly safe to step forward. She realized that there was no need to fear the unknown. With that, she knew it was her time to step into her strength and finally live out the fullness of her dreams.
When it comes to investing in your dream life, Emily reminds us that the universe absolutely is supporting us. We don’t have to create “rules” around it, and we don’t need to get overly attached to a specific outcome. Focus on how you want to feel, and start creating that for yourself today!
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